Archive for June, 2008

My Sassy Solar Sky…A Lot Like Love

Posted in Uncategorized on June 28, 2008 by classatmysassytree


Gotta Release some Sass before I get into my topic. I’ll try and keep it short. First, I know I’m late in posting ya’ll. Get off ma back! I apologize for my delay though, f’real. Today’s post is about something I think about when no one is watching me real good. It sort of relates to what I’m about to mention, but not really. Look, just flow with it. 

Here’s the truth. At times, I feel a little crazy. I don’t tell anyone because even though I know everyone goes through an unstable moment or two here & there, I don’t want to be associated with THEM. Shoooooot, I got my ish together!  I’m strong and independent. Weeeelll, I’ve been going through a particularly challenging time in life where there are lots of moving parts….literally. (*cue the violins*). 

I’ve prayed for the best outcome in every corner. However, while I wait, there are days I have an impressionable “tude” that is less than impressive. Okay ya’ll, I’ve been downright snappy on top of sassy…sometimes with a straight smile on my face. Another oxymoron! Okay, for those who consider my normal sassiness as mean & snappy anyway…let me explain the difference.

Mean would have been hanging up on the recruiter while she was in mid-sentence for insulting me. She thought it was a good idea to prep me for how to properly dress for an interview. “Do you have hosiery, she asked?”, and “what about pumps…skirt or pants?…please avoid pants”. Despite the fact that the managerial role is senior-level in nature and my background and resume CLEARLY outline my expertise…despite that when I open my mouth you CLEARLY know that you don’t have to explain hosiery vs. bare legs, pumps vs. sandals, skirt vs. pant suit details to a person of my caliber, she still made a point to remind me  to “don’t slouch, make eye contact”. Woman, I’ve interviewed chief officers for goodness sake!  I’ve placed YOUR position before…fresh out of college, are you kidding me? But no, I sassily let her finish, and explained that I don’t wear hosiery in the summer because frankly, it is too hot. Can white people even tell when black women go sans panty hose anyway? Mean would have banged the phone on the table while she talked checking in only to hear her frustration & devishly laughing at her referring to “call interference” while I say “everything’s clear on my end, I don’t know what that is”, then banging again as she proceeds until she is forced to call me back, but I had my Ally McBeal moment in silence & I pressed on.

Mean, would have been to run and close hang my supposed softball coach who is the same age as me for his lack of tact in delivery and effectiveness. He gets on my nerves. I had been meaning to tell him that but in my “crazy” moment, he says “if you’ll hurry up & come on, we can start practice”.  I mean did he not see that I was getting myself ready? No one has ever been called out for taking their time to put on cleats, & its not because others are always in a rush. Why was he picking on me? There’s only five of us here, and I would hardly call that a “practice”, plus aren’t we all grown? How is one person holding up a whole half team of husky individuals from starting practice? Hit the field then! Who is he supposed to be anyway? I have a daddy, and there was a more polite way to infer that I was holding him up. Anyway, you had to be there. I was trippin’. Instead, I sassily warned him that a cursing out was coming. He did not take heed.  So, we all know what happened. So, now that I have the non-believers on board, I feel crazy because after I snap, I’m so cool…man, I turn into Cybil…unaffected by the cold I left in the air. I’m back to cracking jokes and pleasantries and what not. My poor friends & family. I love them.  They know it too. Though their timely rants about my personality kaleidoscope during this uncomfortable time get on my nerves too, I only feel understanding, love, and acceptance. They know it will pass. I know it will too. We just glide on through.   Well, some of us….but I just had to get that little bit off my chest. I’m not really crazy. I just had a couple of moments of slight insanity yesterday. I’m okay now…gotta relieve that pressure sometimes.  


So okay, most people don’t know this about me, but I’ve always been fascinated by the awesomeness of our solar system. It’s a nerdy curiosity I have that I don’t tend to discuss it in friendly clusters or family gatherings. Even in random settings, chin to shoulder with strangers at a Star Trek convention, I might be poker-faced. Seriously though, the topic just never seems to make its way into a discussion.  A friend of mine caught on though, then later sent me articles about the solar system as we let our work days go by (not everyday all day people!), and we would have our delightful exchange. I’m not the only one!(*pushing up imaginary glasses on my nose*) Don’t hate.


CJ, Meesh, road trip to Michael’s. We makn’ me a shirt that says “I {heart} Nerds”. I’m rockin’ that ish!!


Anyway,this is what my topic is about. Something came to me today I wanted to share. An odd parallelism that emerged as I typed my thoughts, something became more and more apparent.

 My Sassy Solar Sky….a Lot like Love.                                          

I’ve always been fascinated by astronomy and the solar system…
It’s because the mystery amazes me…the beauty of it…the fact that I can see it existing, and I know its there.
it’s something reachable yet beyond my reach…unless I really want it.
I can’t touch it, but if I focused and set forth goals, I could get there.
I love that I can watch it from afar, and dream about what it might be like if I was there.
It always has something interesting for me to take in.
I want to know the answers about its beginnings before the books & scholars came,
but I’m almost afraid to know the real ancient truth in its entirety.
I’m content with the man-made & scientific explanation of this thing that was decided & planned way before my existence,
mostly because I know the real answers are beyond earthly comprehension.
Still I can’t help but wonder. What’s beyond that farthest star? Something brighter or much worse? 
What if emptiness lurks in the spaces unseen? A dark, gaping hole of nothing will kill my excitement. I don’t want to go there. Deeper knowledge is too risky.  I may be overwhelmed or left unsatisfied. I’ll just enjoy and accept what’s in front of me. In due time, I’ll know for sure. Yes. I’ll enjoy what I see when I proudly and expectantly tilt my head up and look towards our only true source for light and energy. I’m fully content.  It just IS…
I’m drawn to its enormous presence of natural beauty…the imaginative, yet unimaginative heaven I know it contains…this entity predisposed to and capable of spewing out every known and unknown sort of weirdness and strangeness that I can only speculate about. Such power…sometimes demonstrative.  Those are the times I’m unprepared or rather, too prepared. My umbrella is always in the car. I’m drenched on my way to seek shelter. I end up changing later…a chance to feel comfort again. In hindsight, I chastise my comical but costly attempt to predict the unpredictable elements even the most educated and experienced forecasters fail to deliver upon 100%. 
Mysterious ways, unexplained patterns, will always perplex…
All I can do is just wait for the inevitable awe my sky will offer me next….
I’ve always acknowledged my attraction to it. How can I forget?…
Taking mental notes to next time, weather the storm a little better.
The fact that I got wet reminds me of what I know already. 
Elements of something this spectacular can harm me….especially if myself or others are allowed to contribute to its destruction…(in hindsight this statement applies to so many things. I impress myself 😉
If I get too close for comfort…that very comfort I seek will elude me, and I will be exposed. 
Vulnerable to the ultra beyond the violet in the many wavelengths of my sky’s spectrum. 
Damage invisible, radiation almost undetectable to the untrained or naked eye…until I’m not feeling well.
From the moment I first took notice of my sky…the way it made me feel,
When I really think back to the time I first recognized it in my life….
Strangely I’ve had the feeling that it has forever been. It’s normal to me. I never questioned it there.
Controlling my universe before I was even aware of it. I’m aware of it now.
Every time I see the sun…feel the warmth of day…Every time I see 
The twinkling or the disappearing streak of a shooting star..
Each time the shining of the moon captures contrast against the dark….
While the seemingly tiny speckles of light & energy sparkle in the backdrop…
Tiny indications…tiny comforts ease my chagrin as I wonder if this night is the last..the end…
Knowing better,
Or at least having a strong feeling that tomorrow’s promises & aspirations will surely come.  
In my sky, the floods have been presented, the fire has burnt the edges of the platform where I stand
The brimstone has left dents in my acknowledgement of its power…
Still, this isn’t the end yet…I know that light will come.
I’ve been promised day break! Blessings left to receive, sows left to reap. 
Tomorrow, I will get the chance again, to look up and see the wonderful works above me.
So, I do…
When tomorrow arrives, I remember to take notice of my sky. 
As the colors change and the seasons take turns showing off what they can do to the background,
I smile.
I may complain about the almost unbearable heat.
I might shiver in the extreme harshness and cold,
Yet I still revel in my sky’s awesomeness and raw beauty.
It is unique. There will never be another thing like this, and my eyes have witnessed its glory.
I realize as I gaze up,
How enormous those tiny things can actually be. So much meaning amazes me. 
As my eyes capture the big picture landscape of my sky…I have a constant reminder.
There is nothing tiny about this.
The sparkling I see each night are not speckles at all…. 
Those elements are the real reality….
My heaven beyond the atmospherical reality it produces. Now I understand.
My affinity for its omnipresence hovers over me in a Divine sort of way. God put it there I know.
It has a purpose, I remind myself. It is beautiful…majestic…magical even.  
I have to pay attention to it.  It must not go unnoticed.
Divine and Earthly. Light and Darkness. Beauty and the Beast.
I accept it all. Lost in its absence, my world would not make sense, 
Things once written in those stars will never be.
No light, no darkness, no magnificence will loom,
No storms to weather, no growth to assume.
Misalignment would present itself.  The ultimate paradigm shift,
Shifts notorious for being the most dramatic
in sciences that appear to be stable and mature.
Ancient beyond ancient, I don’t know where it came from,
but it is as familiar to me as the given days are sure to fall in darkness…
only to prepare for the light of a new beginning.
I’m glad its there.
I can only imagine why I feel so connected to it, but I could never deny its presence or its beauty.
Human nature…my frustration,
At the violent storms its responsible for, the rain-filled clouds and lightning bolts it boasts…
Yet, I always want it to be there…
Reminding me that I want to know more about it…reminding me of its power.
It is that thing I will NEVER fully understand, but I want it in the universe I expect for my future.
Despite of it all, I still want to look up and see something beautiful before my eyes.
I want to know that there is something beyond the rainbow and the night.
It isn’t everlasting, but my sky’s daybreak has been constant.
Harmful elements are spontaneous and unpredictable…preparedness falters. I will weather the storm.
Effects sometimes damaging….lasting only if we don’t rebuild….
its an awesome thing to look up….
A lot like love……
~~~~ Queen Sassy

Ghetto Love, the Unpenetrable Bond?…06.24.2008

Posted in Sassy Say What????, Sassy Setbacks with tags , , , , , on June 25, 2008 by classatmysassytree

Okay, sorry to disappoint, but this post is not about TI or Tiny or the countless others who have donned themselves “the successful ghetto love story”.   Isn’t that an oxymoron? Funny ish.

Anyway, I was having an email conversation with a young AA female whom I believe to be a very misguided 20-year-old. Poor thing. This is something I’ve been meaning to get off my chest and relay to her for quite some time. I’ve hinted at it, but today I called myself providing some much-needed guidance.  It wasn’t well-received…but it never  is! Maybe I’m just like a pool table…green and square, and everyone else are colorful little balls that bounce around and get all the “fun” action while I provide a platform for balance…and gravity.  Although I wouldn’t consider being banged around, hit on, and tossed about in a game “fun” unless of course it was the other kind of “fun”. Weird thought.

Anyway, I’m on a tangent…let’s get straight.  Even though she isn’t embarrassed, I am embarrassed for her. Let’s just say, I know her well enough to tell it like it is, and she knows me well enough to spit some dumb ish back without either of us throwing blows or any love lost. So, to protect her identity, she shall remain nameless and unidentified on my blog. She can parade that tomfoolery on her own.  Here is how the convo went:

Queen Sassy: Only Cause I love you, I’m going to tell you that:


1))  It’s mighty pitiful to have to put two separate pics together to make a whole one with you & your supposed gangsta boo “husband” in it just to have one of ya’ll in one together. Don’t tell yourself its because he’s always out of town. Ya’ll had time to make a baby. Right?


2.)) It was kinda cute (yet still ghetto & degrading) when Trina came out with Baddest Bitch, but some of ya’ll have taken this to a whole new level. You are officially too old & worth too much to refer to yourself as a bitch or hoe or any other derogatory term ghetto hood rats find cute….or find pride in being someone’s “gansta wife”. That isn’t cute. Sadly, you are not a real wife, so you’ve been diminished to putting a fake title in front of this one…and even more sadly..partly because he already has a real wife. Besides, isn’t the man supposed to choose his wife? Please recognize game if you are a real woman. Open your eyes. Don’t do that.


3.)) I thought pregnancy and being a mother was supposed to open a woman’s eyes to the world happening around her. It is supposed to make her see things she didn’t see before in people and in things. Pay attention to the company you keep. Are you really proud of that? Is that what you are? I thought being a mother makes you feel like you had to portray yourself in a better light for the sake of your children due to your new gift of responsibility. Yet you don’t recognize or respect how easily that gift can or could have been taken away from you. You abuse it by ignoring your responsibility when you feel like it, portraying yourself in a less than flattering light when you know you’re someone’s momma, and on top of that you take pride in praising a man who can’t even be man enough to publicly claim you the same way you have claimed him.  Where are you on his web page? What? You really want to be with him so bad you make yourself a “wife” to someone who can’t even respect his real wife, or at least divorce her? Please hold yourself to a higher standard, and pray to be delivered from making a fool out of your own image so that your boys don’t have to pay for it later. If you do better, they will do better.


4.))  Everyday I view your page, I am saddened by what has become of you image wise. You are more special and more beautiful and more intelligent than this. It doesn’t count for you to say you can turn the ghetto behavior off when you need to. That was funny when you told me that a few months ago. That makes it even worse, that you voluntarily choose to look so silly just to be with the crowd.


5.)) You’ve had your “fun”. It’s time to stop basking in the Ghetto Glory and step your game up. Get with people who want more out of life, out of family, and out of love. DO BETTER! Love you Sweetie.


Misquided 20-yr-old: only because I love you too I feel like I can tell u this without any consequences I’m only being me and if you dont like it then I’m sorry! And for your info being a mother to lil boys has changed me you’re just not around enough to notice it. Umma tell you just like I tell my parents, just because I’m not conforming to wat u think I should act like doesn’t mean there something wrong wit tha way I act! I love myself just the way I am and dats all that matter! And as far as me and him go I’m happy with our current arrangement and again dats all that matter! Sorry boopz!



Queen Sassy: Lawdy! LOL. No consequences here. It’s all love. If you say so…do you! I love you still.  You can have the shirt off my back. You know that. I just think you AND your kids deserve MUCH more than you are getting, and you can have it. But YOU, momma, have to think that too in order for anything to change for the better. If you are happy in your current state, then you have LOW SELF-ESTEEM. You don’t think as highly of yourself as you should regardless of what you say. Who are you trying to convince in your response anyway? If you don’t want change, that’s on you, and that’s okay, but it’s funny how people justify being a certain way by uplifting non-conformity. I absolutely agree that you shouldn’t conform to every and all standards. Be unique. You are conforming to something though..and it IS something wrong with it. You just can’t or refuse to see what’s wrong. It isn’t just by my standards that you should probably be embarassed. Don’t give me or your parents that much credit! Obviously, you are not embarassed, since you publicly profess your “current arrangement”. That’s sad. If you want to be unique, BE unique all the way, but sometimes, especially on this web page, you look just like the other ghetto hood rats who also believe they have no choice but to accept that lifestyle. That is NOT who you are, I don’t care WHAT you say. It’s just who you have conformed to be and you are comfortable perpetrating. I’ve watched your life for the past 20 years of mine, and I don’t have to be there everyday to see what you’ve grown into or how much you’ve changed. I mean c’mon…you and I BOTH know the difference between right and wrong. Good and Bad…Better and WORSE. You just choose to ignore those contrasts in this decision point only, which is a way of thinking you picked up from people you wanna associate yourself with along with convincing yourself that it is all you need and that you’re okay with it. Who you tryna fool? Must be yourself, but if you can live with it, I guess I can live around it….in doses. P.S. Hopefully you aren’t mad, but if you are, you know I’m still the boss of you, and I don’t care…well I do, but seriously it’s all love. Just want better 4 ya! Peace.

Some of you may blame me for meddling, but when are we as women gonna stand up and realize that WE are the prize???! On that note, what ya’ll think about this article I found?

Marry Your Baby Daddy Day!!!

 Ten couples were wed on the 1st annual MYBD Day

Excerpt from the Article: “I thought when I did this, I’d have swarms of women calling me begging me to marry them,” says Reid. “I didn’t. I had lots of men telling me they wanted to marry their baby mamas. Many women told me that they were embarrassed. They didn’t think they would ever get married. They didn’t think they were good enough. They were OK with him just being there,” Reid expounds. “And on the wedding day, the women couldn’t stop thanking me. They were like, ‘Mrs. Reid, I never dreamed or thought it could happen to me.’ So it could be a self-esteem issue. Also, a lot of couples think of marriage as an esteemed position for certain people.”   Those statistics, they affect everybody,” says Reid, who actually was once engaged but did not marry. “It affects everybody; it affects the single women, it affects the married women, it affects the divorced women.”Reid believes that part of why black women say they don’t want to be married is fear; the other piece of the puzzle is lack of communication.  “From what I’ve learned, women just don’t articulate their needs clearly enough. There’s a lot of non-verbal communication — men don’t understand that. Black women or women in general need to set the tone and take the power back in relationships.” 

As for the colloquial, often derogatory, name of the program, Reid says: “I wanted to bring attention to the issue itself. We know this speaks to a demographic — it’s the community I’d like to reach out to — the younger portion of the community that’s not as educated about marriage and its values as maybe our older people are. And also, the fact that “baby daddy” and “baby mama” have such negative connotations, you don’t expect the word “marry” and “baby daddy” to be in the same sentence. So it’s about empowering the whole phrase.”
The next “Marry Your Baby Daddy Day” will be held in September 2007. If you are a cohabitating unwed couple with a biological child living in the New York City area, call 212 946 5164 or go to for more information.


Sassy Setbacks…06.23.2008

Posted in Sassy Hall of Shame, 2 Sassy not Classy, Sassy Say What????, Sassy Setbacks, Sassy Thoughts & Random Reflections.. with tags , , , , , on June 23, 2008 by classatmysassytree

I am often amazed at what possibilities, advancement and exposure the wonderful World Wide Web has spawn for all of us. I mean, how exciting a time to live in the Technology Age. We get to make all sorts of connections with the simple click of a button. Technology advancement has helped the human race accomplish so much for our betterment, and then again……

And while we’re at it, I am totally disgusted by this one. I mean, are they really makin’ it rain on this baby? Why ya’ll? Help me understand!

~ Queen Sassy

Intro to My Sassy…06.20.2008

Posted in Sassy Café, Sassy Confessions, Sassy Spotlight, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2008 by classatmysassytree
sas·sy 1(sās’ē) adj. 1. Lively, spirited, jaunty. 2. Bold, audacious, confident. 3. Rude; Discourteous 4. Forward, brazen, brash. 5. sarcastic, saucy, smart, snippy, wise 6. Stylish, chic.
sas·sy 2(sās’ē) n. 1. A western African tree (Erythrophleum suaveolens) of the pea family, having bark that yields a poison and wood that is used for construction. Also called sasswood, sassy bark.   

Naturally Sassy…I just realized, that I can drive myself crazy stressing over what other people think of me. We all have to define who we are to ourselves, and just flow with that.  I don’t know about ya’ll, but for as long as I can remember, my sassiness has come naturally…though some people have tried to make me feel bad about it, it’s so deeply embedded, they only get frustrated. It has indeed been its own tree: rooted in African descent, firmly planted…its branches, a constant extension of my many dimensions…a platform for learning and growth with each ring and age band earned, a way to distinguish myself amongst others, a blossoming path to finding my way. My sassiness has been a rough exterior of poisonous bark too…constructing, building, and protecting my heart, my confidence, my femininity, my self-esteem, my boldness, my intelligence, my fear…my womanhood, and most of all my forward and expressive opinion.

Okay ya’ll. So this is my very first post and I must say, getting my sweet virgin blogger cherry popped has to be about as comfortable as that New Year’s night at 17.  I’m 28 now, but I must admit I’m nervous, semi-prepared, scared what everyone else will think of me when it’s all over, feeling good because I’ve finally joined the ranks of other women I admire and eager to earn my stripes. I’m thinking “why the hell is it so dark in here” but I’m thankful for the familiar voice that encourages me to finish what I’ve started. All the while, I’m knowing this environment might expose me to a lifetime of open indiscretions, yet still unable to fight my curiosity. I’m loving my partner in all of this but anxious to see if our relationship will grow or falter. My relationship with my talent, I mean. Will I still love it, or will I get my feelings hurt and vow to never do this again?…well, at least until I know I’m loved back.  Hmph, just like 17.

What’s weird is that I’ve always been really bad about keeping a diary. I would start one, do well with it for about a week or so, then put it down for a year or more. Instead, I opted to express my thoughts gangsta style…busting in conversations univited when I felt I had something profound to share…scaring my lily co-workers and pissing off all executives within earshot because I decided to speak up in the bullshyt meeting when the CEO asked if anyone had any further questions…jumping to the defense of friends and even strangers when I felt their own voices we’re too weak to defend themselves…who asked me?…Barely letting my man get a word in edge-wise while he desperately tried to make his case…poor thing, I had already argued both sides complete speeches & lectures on what I may have been feeling at the moment…a writer himself, he remained patient with my aggressive expression…Lucky Me. I frequently tortured my friends and family with my thoughts. I wrote long, descriptive, detailed email messages that would probably rival a pHD dissertation or some lawyer’s closing statement. I admit I needed an outlet. So, I decided to start a blog.  Sorry they had to suffer so long. As of today, I am no longer a virgin. I’m really doing this, allowing my blogger cherry to be popped with my sassy, dramatic thought. I don’t know how good this will be…for ya’ll or for me, but I hope it’s worth it.

So, who Gives a Sassy ‘ish? …Well I started this site and named it the way I did partly because a lot of people seem to be confused & even incensed at times about why I am the way I am.  Hopefully, through class in the educational sense about my sassy, and class in the etiquette sense, this blog will serve as a vehicle for learning, warning, entertaining, engaging and even relieving those in the dark about my sassiness.  I’ve noticed though, that I’m not alone. We’re all at least a little sassy….some of us embrace it, some of us can’t find it or never learned to use it, some of us are ashamed & keep it tamed within. Some praise us for it, others chastise & call us names. Some of us are even hippocritical about it, talking about our busted friend behind her back and sometimes boldly to her face, knowing all the while our own sassy is foul too.  That’s letting you know, anything in excess is way too much. You can keep it sassy, but remain classy!! 

Oftentimes, lively & spirited by definition, my own sassiness, like this blog, is not for everyone.  My delivery is hardly ever welcomed or well-received by the soft and sensitive-hearted.  Yet, I still embrace it. If it isn’t your flavor, you can leave or you can stay. Just be forewarned, I offer no apologies here.  Actually, you can expect some extra sassiness for that matter. For those of you who don’t mind thought-provoking candor or a bit of fantastic fodder in life, welcome to my world of unedited truth & unapologetic sassiness. Maybe you can feel what I think about the pure hot messes, love & relationships, community & family, writing, health, natural beauty, fashion, style & chic culture, politics, music & the arts, life’s never-ending journey of ups and downs, and everything in between.

Sassy sign here…press hard…The only rule of my blog is that there are no rules.  I CAN promise ya’ll that I’ll be sassy in my thought and commentary, sometimes even controversial. I don’t know how to be any other way.  Besides, this is my shyzznit. I can be like that.  The hataz can kick rocks, right? Anyway, this isn’t a rule, but feel free to share your comments, links, pics and all things sassy. I know there will be occasional “blog stalkers”, but I created this blog so I could hear your sassy ‘say whats’ too. Send me your thought-provoking material & lets communicate. Keep it sassy; somewhat classy & I’ll reasonably consider how to post those with a lack thereof.  

Any similarities in stories told or names named are merely coincidence, so don’t get it twisted.  Private Sassiness? Don’t want to post sensitive sass on the blog? You can find me here:

 ~ Queen Sassy